Projects ...

"The word "project" originally meant "something that comes before anything else is done". When the word was initially adopted, it referred to a plan of something, not to the act of actually carrying this plan out. Something performed in accordance with a project was called an object. This use of "project" changed in the 1950s when several techniques for project management were introduced" -- Wikipedia

Now that holidays are about to get over, now i realized :P a few strange things about projects. Most of them are from personal experiences.

1. Whatever happens, you will finish the project on time. On time, meaning the last day when you have to submit your project (this includes quite a few a night outs before that day).

2. If you finish the project one/two weeks before time, either the project is very very simple for you or you didn't do your project at all :P

3. The first few weeks of the project will be really frustrating as you will be reading and chatting more than you code. Actually for the first few weeks, if your LOC is around 3-4 it is really great.

4. The last two-three days of your project, the LOC will shoot up to few hundreds :-)

5. Even if you chat 24*7 during the project time, somehow you will complete the project on time. You won't even realize how the code actually came there, but at the end of the day, it will be there.Though even if you work really hard 24*7, you will have the same output.

6. If you are geek and you are doing a project in Bangalore, don't try to go to a pub.

7. You will be really satisfied about completing the project on the last day.

8. You will feel bad that you could have done lots more in the project only on the last day. You will realize you have taken more time to understand the old code :P Only on that day you will start loving your project and you will feel like working more on that.

9. Only if you have project review, you will feel really really sleepy that you might end up not coming for the review.

10 . Your friend's project will always look easier.

11. The last three days, you will be cursing your project like anything. You will hate it to the core. But after that, you will think that your project is not so bad.

12. Only for the first one week, you will report for your project work on time. After that it will be late from 2-4 hours. Though this will be compensated by the night outs you do for your project.

Oath for Software Engineers

Never write a line of code that someone else can understand.

Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long counter intuitive names. Don't ever code "a=b", rather do something like:

AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));

Type fast, think slow.

Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in macros. Bury the macros in include files. Reference those include files indirectly from other include files. Use macros to reference those include files.

Never include a comment that will help someone else understand your code. If they understand it, they don't need you.

Never generate new sources. Always ifdef the old ones. Every binary in the world should be generated from the same sources.

Never archive all the sources necessary to build a binary. Always hide on your own disk. If they can build your binary, they don't need you.

Never code a function to return a value. All functions must return a pointer to a structure which contains a pointer to a value.

Never discuss things in concrete terms. Always speak in abstract. If they can understand you, they don't need you.

Never complete a project on time. If you do, they will think it was easy and anyone can do it and they don't need you.

When someone stops by your office to ask a question, talk forever but don't answer the question. If they get their questions answered they don't need you.

Load all sentences either written or spoken with alphabet soup. When someone asks you out to lunch, reply:

"I can't because I've almost got my RISC-based OSI/TCP/IP client connected by BIBUS VMS VAX using SMTP over TCP sending SNMP inquiry results to be encapsulated in UDP packets for transmission to a SUN 4/280 NFS 4.3 BSD with release 3.6 of RPC/XDR supporting our ONC effort working."

Never clean your office. Absolutely never throw away an old listing.

Never say hello to someone in hallway. Absolutely never address someone by name. If you must address someone by name, mumble or use the wrong name. Always maintain the mystique of being spaced out from concentrating on complex logic.

Never wear a shirt that matches your pants. Wear a wrinkled shirt whenever possible. Your shirt must never be tucked in completely. Button the top button without wearing a tie. This will maximize your mystique.

Life ...

Life is a beautiful poem with so many pages of lyrics written on every page. It depends on whether you sing a song with it or think it as a greek stupid probability junk and leave it .
I am gonna sing :-) :-)